


Just Silly Texts

by Iraura



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3987328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iraura/pseuds/Iraura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all begins with a job application text. Kurt wants to earn some more money and Santana gives him Gunther's mobile number. Well, maybe it's not exactly his number. Kurt will find himself chatting with someone he'd have never expected to be texting to. He's definitely gonna kill Santana for her bad joke. Or maybe.. he won't.</p><p>UPDATE: once a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Chapter 1**

 

 

11.03 AM

Santana, I'll pretend you never saw Bruce and I'll try not to be angry at you, since I need some help. Isabel can keep me in just for half turn, and I need some extra money. Can you give me your boss' number? Maybe they need another pole dancer waiter or whatever you do in that place. Please, please, please.

 

_11.15 AM_

_Oh, that's so kind of you, lady Hummel. Btw, here you are. Gunther Olsen, (212) 354-2112. He doesn't like being called on his phone, you should send him a text. He loves direct people, who "don't steal my precious time". Yeah, I'm quoting. Trust me, you'll LOVE him. Let me know if I'm gonna see you in a red skirt and high heeled boots. Bye bye sugar._

 

11.21 AM

Thanks. High heels sounds pretty interesting. I'll let you know. Bye, see you later.

 

_11.23 AM_

_As if I didn't see the collection of shoes under your bed. Come on, stop being sarcastic, you love that stuff. And that's why you were in favor of letting that Unique guy join the Nude Erections._

 

12.30 AM

San! Please. First of all, Unique is a girl if she feels like one. And you should probably shut up since the sluttiest shoes come always from your wardrobe.

 

_12.32 PM_

_You know, Hummel? I've learned to respect everyone's choices, since I came out with Brittany. But that *girl* probably has something huge between her legs. I'm a lesbian, so I truly love girls, but I wouldn't have sex w/ her in a billion years. Got that?_

 

12.34

I'm rolling my eyes at you. Now I have to write something about raincoats for this season. Buy one, they'll be a must. See you at home. Try not to stalk miss Fabray too much, got it? Bye.

 

_12.36 PM_

_Hey! What do you know about Quinn? You better tell me.._

 

12.41 PM

I just know you took the pic you had in your locker and you have it now on your mirror. Then, you are checking your phone like.. 3 times for second. So.. I figured it out.

 

_12.44 PM_

_We're just friends, like you and Blaine. We've been together for 4 years, Hummel. Practicing day 'n night for those amazing stunts we did w/ Sue Sylvester._

 

12.57 PM

Yeah, and I'm sure you didn't checked her ass as I did with Blaine's. Please, I'm not so oblivious babe.

 

_12.59 PM_

_You're not oblivious, you're predictable. You tapped that perfectly rounded ass while dating Doctor Who. You really are such a slut, you know that?_

 

01.03 PM

I'm not a slut, Santana. Blaine and I are just friends, you know that. Stop it.

 

_01.05 PM_

_I don't usually stuck my cock into my friends' asses. And that's not because I don't have one._

 

01.03 PM

Yeah, whatevs. Thanks San, I owe you a favor. See you later.

 

_01.05 PM_

_You can say that out loud, babe._

 

xxxXxxx

 

11.41 AM

Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel. I wanted to know how much do you pay for a job, I desperately need money and I know my friend already works for you, so..

 

**01.00 PM**

**You know, you should stop sending me those texts. It's really bothering me, and you know what it does to me whenever I get really mad at somebody. Not funny at all.**

**01.01 PM**

**Btw, Kurt Hummel? Did it take long to come up w/ such an awful name?**

 

01.22 PM

..Okay, it took me 20 minutes to figure out the meaning of those texts and, besides of a poor insult to my name, I didn't understand a thing. I need a job, and I'm asking you for one. What's wrong with that?

 

**01.29 PM**

**You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you? I'm on my way to the common room, and you better be doing the same, 'cause we have our practice at 01.30. Not a minute later. But if this game pleases you, okay. Then, tell me Kurt, how much do you want me to pay you for your "job"?**

 

01.33 PM

Common room? What, do I have the job already? I'm confused, and obviously I'm late. Where should I come to? And I don't know, how much do you pay my friend?

-

**04.00 PM**

**We spent the last 2 hours and a half together and you didn't even make a witty joke about *this* texting stuff. You want this to be our secret?**

**04.00 PM**

**And, yes, the job is yours. You're a lucky guy.** **I'll try to ignore the pun about you *coming* somewhere.** **The last one who had this job didn't want a $, 'cause I was way too good at it.**

 

04.17 PM

Listen, I don't really understand what you mean. I'm working right now, and I didn't see you at all. Did you come at Vogue.com? Why?

 

**06.00 PM**

**Vogue what?! Okay, it's enough, Smythe. I've already told you. I'm not gay. I don't watch or read that stuff you fags seem to love. Stop teasing me, cause I won't be merciful w/ you again.**

 

06.01 PM

SMYTHE?

06.02 PM

Okay, there's something wrong. Is this Gunther Olsen, from the pub where my friend Santana works?

 

**07.45 PM**

**Gunther Olsen? Santana? What the hell is goin’ on here? Do you guys have some kind of kinks about awful names or what?**

 

08.02 PM

Sorry, I have to kill a friend of mine. When I'll have washed her blood away from my hands, I'll text you. BTW, I'm NOT Sebastian Smythe. I feel violated.

 

xxxXxxx

 

08.03 PM

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SANTANA LOPEZ.

 

xxxXxxx

 

**09.00 PM**

**So, Kurt Hummel - I suppose that's your real name - why did you text me in first place? Did you really want to blow me for a bunch of dollars?**

**09.00 PM**

**Don't answer me, ok? I don't want to know.**

**09.01 PM**

**Are you even a fag?**

**09.01 PM**

**Of course you are. You work at vogue.com!**

**09.02 PM**

**OH GOSH, WHY AM I A GAY MAGNET?**

 

09.03 PM

Blow you? Are you out of your mind? I don't even know your freakin name! I was looking for a TRUE work. In a bar. I thought I was texting my obviously ex-friend's boss. And I'm not a fag, you rude person. Fuck you very much.

 

**09.03 PM**

**I FUCKIN HATE GAYS. DOESN'T ANYBODY HERE IN OHIO HAVE A PUSSY?**

 

09.07 PM

..Have you finished your pointless complain? And, just to let you notice how stupid you are, I work for Vogue.com, SO I'M NOT IN OHIO. You don't have to trust me. You have to erase my number and forget my name. And even punch Sebastian in the face, if you got the chance.

 

**09.30 PM**

**This is so depressing. Ohio lacks girls and I'm texting with a gay guy who apparently knows my pain in the ass: Smythe.**

**09.31 PM**

**How do you know Sebastian?**

 

09.33 PM

He made a pass at my ex-boyfriend. I hate his face. But, since my enemy's enemies are friends to me.. Can I know your name, at least?

 

**09.59 PM**

**You just talked about Smythe trying to sleep with your ex boyfriend and you expect me not to think you're gay?**

**10.00 PM**

**Btw, I'm Clarington.**

 

10.02 PM

Actually, I said I'm not a fag. It's pretty different.. Well, maybe not to you, but to me. Clarington? Your name is not new to me, but I can't remember..

10.03 PM

Wait, you're the new captain of Warblers! Hunter Clarington!

 

**10.05 PM**

**I KNEW THAT. I'm already popular among the fags - gays, I know. You just appear on tv for a second and here you are. Do you exchange my pics on your dating networks? Do you get off thinking of me? Again, don't tell me.**

**10.06 PM**

**SOMEONE IS CLEARLY PUNISHING ME FOR SOMETHING I DID BEFORE.**

 

10.09 PM

God, listen. Let’s make things clear, okay? I'm Kurt Hummel. I was a McKinley student an year ago, I graduated and now I'm in New York. So no chances I'll come in your room and I'll rape you. Calm down. My ex-boyfriend is Blaine Anderson, you sang with him.. That's why I know your name. THE END.

 

**10.10 PM**

**No way.**

 

10.11 PM

"No way" what, exactly?

 

**10.11 PM**

**You are the famous "Kurt" who stole Blaine's heart and convinced him to leave the Warblers for a stinking public school?**

 

10.13 PM

The one and only.

 

**10.13 PM**

**That Anderson is such a talented guy. Flawless, I'd say. I should hate you for what you did to our - well, their at the time - show choir group.**

**10.14 PM**

**We sang "Dark Side" and, trust me, every single word he sang was for you.**

 

10.16 PM

Yeah, Blaine is pretty charming.. I'm sorry you didn't meet him in the first place, when he was a Warbler. He was truly impressing. Still, I don't completely agree with that "flawless" you used..

 

**10.20 PM**

**Actually, it was Sebastian who used that term. You feel him in the air, don't you?**

 

10.21 PM

I do. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

 

**10.22 PM**

**You made that clear, I swear.**

 

10.22 PM

So can we stop talking about him?

 

**10.22 PM**

**What exactly did he do to you?**

 

10.23 PM

He tried to fuck Blaine. And luckily I found out he was about to try on him, or I would be even more cuckold than I am today.

 

**10.25 PM**

**Isn't Blaine able to defend himself?**

 

10.28 PM

Obviously you don't know Blaine very well.

 

**10.30 PM**

**Well, I don't.. But I don't like dudes who can't stand for themselves.**

**10.30 PM**

**Gotta go. Warbler practice tomorrow morning.**

**10.31 PM**

**I'm telling you this just because you're not in the New Directions anymore.**

 

10.32 PM

Are you kidding me? You guys go to sleep so early? We won't talk too much. Or maybe this is a way to say "well, Kurt Hummel, I'm bored!" and you are saying goodbye. So, goodbye.

10.33 PM

Or maybe you are just sleepy, this is not a goodbye and I'm sounding rude. Well, in that case.. I'm sorry, goodnight.

 

**10.34 PM**

**I was trying to fall asleep, but apparently you decided to keep our conversation on until *you*'ll decide that it's time to go to bed.**

**10.35 PM**

**So, what do you want to talk about?**

 

10.37 PM

You don't sleep cause of me, already. I usually reach that point around sixth or seventh date.

10.38 PM

Kidding, just kidding, Mr. Straight.

 

**10.40 PM**

**It's been two whole hours since somebody flirted with me. And with somebody, I mean a guy, not a chick. I was beginning to worry about my sex appeal.**

**10.41 PM**

**Kidding, it's been less than ninety minutes.**

 

10.44 PM

Let me guess.. Someone from my old chorus? And don't ever doubt, I'm sure you are as charming as it comes.

 

**10.45 PM**

**Your old what?**

 

10.47 PM

Late night's news: I used to be a Warbler, too.

 

**10.48 PM**

**As I told you, I don't know much about you and Anderson. Why did you leave the Warblers?**

**10.48 PM**

**And yes. It was one of your old mates.**

 

10.51 PM

I wasn't polemic, I was just answering.. I arrived at Dalton from my old school, where I've been bullied for years. You know, pretty much the fag thing you used earlier, plus some violence and a beginning of emotional abuse. Dalton was a safe place. When things get easier at McKinley, I came back. Blaine followed me 6 months later.

 

**10.52 PM**

**That's so romantic of you! How cute.. But, what about the happily ever after?**

**10.52 PM**

**Now that I've had my bedtime story, I can go to sleep again. I feel so blessed.**

 

10.54 PM

No need to be sarcastic, thanks. Maybe you've never been put through something like that, so you shouldn't judge. And THIS is a goodbye.

 

**10.55 PM**

**Good night, sleep well..**

 

10.56 PM

I hope Sebastian will rape you in your sleep. Good night.

 

**10.56 PM**

**If he doesn't wake me up, that's ok.**

 

10.58 PM

I have his number, Hunter Clarington. I could foward to him this last sms.. Don't play with fire.

 

**10.59 PM**

**You really are unbelievable, Kurt Hummel. Are you challenging me? I come from a military academy and, trust me, your hard times weren't even close to my hard times.**

 

11.03 PM

I'm not challenging you at all. I am sure Sebastian does it enough every day. Good luck with your nerves.

11.03 PM

Quick, fall asleep! In four hours you'll have to make your bed and be ready for the morning swore statement.

 

**11.05 PM**

**I can't turn off my phone, 'cause I've got some issues to keep after. And it keeps shaking on my night stand. It's so annoying. I'm gonna crush it against the wall, if you don't stop texting me. So, Hummel, send me your last text. Tell me what's keeping you from leaving me alone and then disappear.**

 

11.07 PM

I find you interesting. That's all for today, over and out.

 

**11.10 PM**

**Big news.**

**11.11 PM**

**Bye, Kurt..**

 

xxxXxxx

 

 

 10.11 PM

HUNTER FUCKING CLARINGTON?! Don’t linger on your work place, Santana. Come back home immediately.

 

_11.02 PM_

_Be there in two hours, as usual._

 

11.03 PM

You better be.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_06.34 AM_

_Okay, I get it. You were angry w/ me for making fun of you and not giving Gunther's real number, but do not forget about my third Mexican eye, ok? I see everything. And I saw your smile while you were reading your texts. The only reason I'm writing this to you is that I'm late for work and I better run! Speak to you later!_

 

08.47 AM

Good morning, Santana. I don't know if I'll forgive you. We'll see. Have a nice day.

 

_08.50 AM_

_You're being passive-aggressive, aren't you?_

 

09.01 AM

You know me so well.

 

_09.40 AM_

_Now you're definitely being sarcastic._

 

09.42 AM

As I said.. Have a nice day.

 

_09.45 AM_

_You're not coming here just to order the whole menu and be mean with me complaining about the food, right?_

 

09.49 AM

I am not. I have more important things to do. Like putting some dry red pepper in your panties, like I did earlier. You're welcome. We're even!

 

_09.50 AM_

_Gosh, that's why I felt something strange down there. I thought that it was my last landscaping session's fault._

 

09.53 AM

So sorry. I'm not so angry, though. It seems like that was our first and last conversation, so..

 

_09.55 AM_

_It better be, Kurt! He's a freakin’ psycho, you told me that yourself!_

 

10.01 AM

THAT'S BASICALLY WHY I GOT ANGRY WITH YOU!

 

_10.30 AM_

_I apologized a billionth times. I didn't want you to actually have a conversation w/ him._

 

_10.31 am_

_I don't even know him! I just stole his number from Sebastian's phone._

 

10.32 AM

I supposed so.

 

xxXxx

 

00.03 PM

Any strange pain down there? Let me know if the meerkat raped you. I'm willing to know.

 

**01.00 PM**

**Nope, everything is okay. Your friend's done a great job, I hope he'll do the same tonite.**

 

01.13 PM

You are growing gayer and gayer, Hunter.

 

**01.30 PM**

**Okay, Hummel. Listen to me. I'm not gay. And the only reason I'm still answering your texts, is that you hate Sebastian Smythe.**

 

**01.31 PM**

**IF YOU USE THAT WORD WITH ME JUST ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE THIS CALM.**

 

01.32 PM

Calm down, I was kidding. Easy there, tiger.

 

01.34 PM

Don't get angry. If you didn't notice, I'm gay, so I don't mean it like an insult.. Still, I won't tell it again referring to you. I'm sorry.

 

**01.59 PM**

**I know, Hummel. You are gay. I'm refraining from using the word "fag" with you, but don't push me, okay?**

 

02.10 PM

K.

 

-

 

**09.30 PM**

**When I said that you're a fag, well.. I meant it. But I meant a fag that's fun to chat with.**

 

10.45 PM

Cool.

 

**10.46 PM**

**Oh, come on! You're not gonna keep me awake as you did yesterday, just because you're mad at me.**

 

10.46 PM

Even if I'm into girls, that doesn't mean that we cannot be friends!

 

10.47 PM

Goodnight, Hunter.

 

**10.48 PM**

**Goodnight, Kurt. I was goin to tell you what I did to Sebastian this morning, but you don't seem in the mood to enjoy this kind of chat.**

 

10.51 PM

I'm sure you'll find another random fag in our old school to tell your story to.

 

-

 

**05.45 AM**

**Already asleep, sorry. Stop complaining about me using that word with you. Are words so important? I mean, you know what I meant. But you can't deny that somebody who suddenly starts texting with you, without a real reason, is kinda creepy.**

 

05.47 AM

So stop texting me back. Words are important to me, and I perfectly understood what you meant. I'm pretty pissed of by people who keeps telling me how much of a faggot I am. So you are just the last.

 

**6.00 AM**

**I said that it's kinda creepy, not that I didn't like it. In fact, I really enjoyed our late night chat.**

 

6.11 AM

Give me just one reason, Hunter Clarington.

 

**06.29 am**

**For what?**

 

06.32 AM

For trusting you.

 

06.33 AM

Sebastian Smythe not involved, please.

 

**06.34 AM**

**You really have some issues w/ him, don't you? Btw, it's your own choice. You can trust me or not. Usually I don't give explanations to anyone.**

 

06.44 AM

But now you're giving explanation to me. I'm gay, not a weak. Tell me what you meant with that "fag" and excuse yourself, since it's clearly offensive. Then we can go back to our nice conversation.

 

**06.59 AM**

**You don't sound weak at all to me, especially when you are determined to get something. And this is clearly the case. As I told you, I use the word "fag" as "gay", 'cause that's what I've been doing since I learned how to speak. But I didn't mean to offend you. I mean, I don't even *know* you.**

 

**07.00 AM**

**By the way, I'm sorry.**

 

07.04 AM

Okay, Hunter. I accept your apologies.

 

**07.59 AM**

**Hummel, you're pretty eager to forgive someone who treated you badly. I wish I were that sensitive too.**

 

08.13 AM

I'm a merciful God, you know.

 

**09.28 AM**

**Someone's pretty modest..**

 

10.03 AM

Thanks for noticing.

 

**10.29 AM**

**Gay alarm. You're getting flirty, again.**

 

10.46 AM

No flirt. I don't know you, remember? You were about to tell me what you did to Smythe. Wanna share?

 

**10.47 AM**

**Gotta go, Warbler practice in a few minutes! I'll tell you later..**

 

**10.48 AM**

**I'll just tell you that you inspired me a lot..**

 

10.56 AM

You got me, Clarington. I'm so curious! Hear you later.

 

xxXxx

 

_09.40 AM_

_Are you okay, lady Hummel?_

 

10.04 AM

Am I? I am. :-))

 

_10.06 AM_

_I'll check if you're still the same every now and then._

 

10.11 AM

I'll be, baby. Thank you, S. It means a lot.

 

_10.12 AM_

_You see, honey? I was right. Since you stopped texting w/ Clarington, you immediately found a better mood._

 

10.33 AM

I didn't stop.

 

_10.34 AM_

_Yeah, of course you didn-WAIT, WHAT?!?_

 

10.35 AM

I didn't.. He's kinda.. Nice, to talk to. To be a psycho, he's pretty cool.

 

_10.36 AM_

_Can't wait to come home and keep your mobile as far as possible from you. I'm not okay knowing that you are chatting with a psyco stranger._

 

10.43 AM

It's you who gave me his number, San! And I'm not a baby, I can keep myself safe.

 

_10.44 AM_

_It was an horrible joke, I get it... But I didn't want anything of *this* to happen._

 

10.56 AM

*This* what, exactly? Me making a friend, or some kind of? It's not like we are sexting, I leave that to you and Quinn.

 

_10.57 AM_

_You can say that out loud, munchkin! She's a real hottie._

 

11.01 AM

This conversation is over, too many pussies for my tastes. See you later San. Xo.

 

xxXxx

 

**00.59 PM**

**Are you having lunch?**

 

01.14 PM

Yeah, I'm on my break. I was waiting!

 

**01.29 PM**

**Sorry, I was having lunch too!**

 

**01.30 PM**

**Okay.. Where do I start from?**

 

01.32 PM

From the beginning. I want the whole story.

 

**01.33 PM**

**Once upon a time, there was a very very mean Warbler named Sebastian Smythe. Everybody couldn't stand him, because he was selfish, cocky and he behaved like a whore. Am I doin' it right?**

 

01.34 PM

Perfect, you are an amazing story-teller. Go on.

 

**01.36 PM**

**Sebastian used to keep a rare pic on his nightstand. "Why was that pic rare?" you could ask. "Because it portrayed him and the Royal Prince Warbler together in a bar called 'Lima Bean'", I'd answer.**

 

01.37 PM

Who?

 

01.37 PM

Are you kidding me?

 

01.39 PM

And..? Go on, please.

 

**01.41 PM**

**On the back of that pic there were some nice words - clearly from Blaine, 'cause there was his signature at the end of the period - written with a fountain pen. I stole it some days ago, just in case, you know..**

 

**01.43 PM**

**Yesterday, he was being way too sassy with me, trying to make fun of me using his witty smile and some bad jokes, and I just showed his beloved pic to everyone in the common room, reading those words aloud.**

 

01.48 PM

Nice.. Can you remember what did Blaine write there?

 

**01.49 PM**

**Something that sounded like "To my amazing friend, Sebastian" and then there was that gay song's quote.. How is that? "In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more.. That's what friends are for..". And a few lines over the signature he'd written "I really don't know how I'd have moved on without you, Bas".**

 

01.56 PM

Oh, okay. I.. Sorry, I am not so enthusiastic, you know.. With my ex thing and stuff..

 

**01.59 PM**

**I thought it was over between you and Anderson. Otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it.**

 

**01.59 PM**

**I also told Sebastian that you were right about his crush on Blaine, and that he better be very careful from now on, 'cause I'll keep an eye - and a fist - on him.**

 

02.17 PM

It is over, but it still hurts a bit knowing he used to underrate me. Still, thank you Hunt. Can I call you Hunt? Or H? I love nicknames. Those things you said to him are really meaningful to me.

 

**04.01 PM**

**Sorry, I was attending my afternoon lessons. Try to find a nickname that doesn't make me sound like a glittering pony, please. H is not okay. Hunt? Sounds ridiculous. I'm pretty tough, nicknames are for small or cute people.**

 

04.38 PM

Don't worry. H is okay. And maybe..

 

**05.15 PM**

**Maybe what?**

 

05.33 PM

Maybe nothing, forget about it. What are you doing?

 

**06.00 PM**

**Waiting for these boring lessons to come to an end.**

 

**06.01 PM**

**Maybe WHAT?**

 

06.05 PM

They will, don't worry. Lessons of? Maybe nothing.

 

**06.06 PM**

**I hate when someone avoids my questions.**

 

06.07 PM

I'll answer tonight if you'll stay awake for me till.. Mmh. Midnight.

 

**06.08 PM**

**It's no big deal to me.**

 

06.11 PM

So I'll tell you around midnight.

 

**06.13 PM**

**Okay, then. Now I've got my chemistry lesson, I don't wanna be late, cause the teacher is a real hottie! Bye bye Kurt!**

 

06.14 PM

I would like to ask you if the teacher is a boy or a girl, but I know it would piss you off, so I think I'll simply say goodbye. So, goodbye, H.

 

**06.14 PM**

**Screw yourself, Hummel!**


	3. Chapter 3

 

08.34 PM Work dinner. Elegant dresses, fashion chats and pink drinks. I'm glad you're not here, you could feel overwhelmed by the gayness in the air.

 

09.30 PM **I certainly would, even if I rock suits. I think it's one of the perks of having abs.**

 

09.30 PM **And broad shoulders too.**

 

09.35 PM Someone is being conceited..

 

09.43 PM **Oh, come on, Hummel! I bet you do the same all the time.**

 

09.46 PM I don't get conceited for some abs.

 

09.48 PM **Woah, so you're admitting you've got some abs.**

 

09.51 PM I'm admitting I don't get conceited for them. Even better.

 

09.53 PM **Someone's got a huge ego..**

 

09.54 PM Glad you're admitting your flaws.

 

09.55 PM **Work dinners make you happy, don't they?**

 

09.56 PM Did you notice?

 

09.58 PM **I can see your smile from Dalton's common room.**

 

10.03 PM Can you? What are you doing?

 

10.11 PM **I'll tell you at midnight.**

 

10.23 PM Touché. I have a silly assistant chatting in my hear, what can I say to make her stop?

 

10.32 PM **Tell him that you're not even remotely bi-curious. It works.**

 

10.38 PM It didn't work with you, since Sebastian keeps annoying you. I set myself free of her, don't worry.

 

10.33 PM **At first I thought that you were talking about a dude assistant, so I didn't get what your problem was.**

 

10.33 PM **I mean, you're single, you have your beloved abs.. What else?**

 

10.35 PM I don't have a serene soul, that's the problem.

 

10.58 PM **You don't need it to get laid by some random guy.**

 

11.00 PM I don't need a random guy to get laid.

 

11.24 PM **Everyone needs it.**

 

11.25 PM **I mean, sex.**

 

11.28 PM What, you didn't know? We gays don't have sex, just hot talks about clothes and movie stars.

 

11.33 PM **That means that you jerk off a lot.**

 

11.37 PM Quite enough.

 

11.41 PM **Well, we have something in common, then.**

 

11.42 PM **That wasn't obvious at all, cause I know that some gays prefer to.. Ugh, I'm gonna puke just thinking about that stuff.. Let's say, "use their fingers to do something else".**

 

11.43 PM Well, I don't do that. But let's stop talking about this cause it makes me as uncomfortable as you are.

 

11.47 PM **Agreed.**

 

11.49 PM Let's talk about the fact you were talking about stuff like that with a stranger.

 

11.52 PM **I'm not telling you anything about my sexual life, I was just talking about gay habits.**

 

11.54 PM Jerking off isn't a gay thing.

 

11.54 PM (Almost midnight, you're surprising me.)

 

11.56 PM **You're the one who said "I don't need sex".**

 

11.57 PM Still, I didn't force you to go on talking about that.

 

11.58 PM **We were having a bro moment, that's it.**

 

11.59 PM A nice bro moment.

 

00.00 AM **Guess what? It's midnight!**

 

00.01 AM "Maybe the fact you did a nice thing for me today means we are beginning being friend?"

 

00.03 AM _I really dunno what to say._

 

00.04 AM **I don't have lots of friends, I just stick out with some dudes. And I don't know what you and I could share as two friends..**

 

00.06 AM Silly midnight's texts.

 

00.07 AM **???**

 

00.09 AM That's what we can share.

 

00.11 AM **If that's enough for you to call me 'friend'?**

 

00.15 AM That's enough for a beginning.

 

00.17 AM **Okay. But I gotta be true to you. I did not wait till midnight to hear what you had to say..**

 

00.20 AM So why did you wait?

 

00.21 AM **Cause it's Mr. Puss' birthday and I organized a small party for him.**

 

00.23 AM I'm supposing you are talking about a cat, aren't you?

 

00.25 AM **I'm talking about my amazing cat. I thought Blaine'd mentioned him.**

 

 

xxXxx

 

00.31 AM You came back early from your dinner, what happened?

 

00.32 AM I'm in my bed, trying to sleep, so don’t even think about coming here and telling me everything.

 

00.33 AM _But I can hear the sounds you are making from here. Are you silently laughing or crying? I can't tell._

 

00.34 AM I'm laughing, S, don't worry.

 

00.35 AM _Ouch, now I'm curious. Tell me about it!_

 

00.36 AM Tomorrow. Now I am busy..

 

00.36 AM _You already jerking off?_

 

00.40 AM Goodnight.

 

00.41 AM _I'm all ears but I can't hear the usual moans from your "fav sites".._

 

00.43 AM I am NOT jerking off.

 

00.44 AM _Okay, okay.. Someone gets really touchy when he likes a guy.._

 

00.47 AM I don't like him, Santana.. Come on..

 

00.48 AM _Actually, he's pretty hot. If I weren't a lesbian, I'd totally wanna tap that ass._

 

00.51 AM I don't remember him at all.. At Sectionals, during Whistle, I was talking with Blaine and later I just saw Sebastian's lame performance. Can you come here and maybe describe him to me?

 

 

xxXxx

 

00.56 AM It's cute. Who did you invite? Alley cats?

 

00.58 AM **Nope.. Just the Warblers..**

 

00.58 AM **No pun intended.**

 

01.01 AM Are you having fun?

 

01.07 AM **Mr. Puss is, so I guess I am too.**

 

01.09 AM Nice. But.. I have to say a thing that will break our newborn friendship forever.

 

01.12 AM **Go on..**

 

01.14 AM I'm allergic.

 

01.15 AM **Mr. Puss is not okay with that at all. I'm afraid we cannot meet.**

 

01.17 AM So you were planning to meet me.

 

01.18 AM **I was just making an hypothesis. Don't be so choosy.**

 

01.20 AM You were totally planning to meet me.

 

01.21 AM **As I'm planning to reach my bed and fall asleep. Goodnight Kurt!**

 

01.23 AM Goodnight H, goodnight Mrs. Puss..

 

01.24 AM **Mr. Puss..**

 

01.26 AM I decided it's a trans cat.

 

01.27 AM **Why are you gays so obsessed with other people - or animals, in this case - being gay as well?**

 

01.28 AM I AM KIDDING! I'll have to put a signal every time I'll make some irony, to make you understand my jokes..

 

01.29 AM **Yeah, whatever.. I'm really tired, my irony is on strike.**

 

01.32 AM I supposed so.. Sleep tight.

 

01.33 AM **There's a place that's always tight..**

 

01.35 AM I'll delete this text and pretend you never wrote it.

 

01.36 AM **There's a place that's always tight..**

 

01.37 AM I'll keep deleting.

 

01.38 AM **Sleep well sweetie! Keep it tight, okay?**

 

01.39 AM Sweetie? Okay, hello Sebastian.

 

01.42 AM **Irony, Kurt.**

 

01.47 AM Double irony, H. You'll never win.

 

01.48 AM **But I can disappear right now.**

 

01.49 AM Yes, you can. But you won't, I suppose. I hope. Goodnight.


End file.
